dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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