4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
