I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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