This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
this just has baby written all over it
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
