im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
