battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
