4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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