so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
These tits shall not be calmed
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
