Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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