im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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