You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
