I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
