$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
