he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
