no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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