He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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