You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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