Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
now i know why i became what i already was.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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