I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
