I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
