It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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