Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
