Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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