Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize