Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I have tasted many bathrooms
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
