so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
