is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
