Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
time to smoke my breakfast
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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