Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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