3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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