You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
