ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
