I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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