I look better un-naked...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
