don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
