nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
