I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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