So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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