sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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