I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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