I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
