she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
