In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
