he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
