kristin has been a bad kristin
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
