we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
