Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
