I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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