I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
