I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
